What is EFT Couples Therapy?

What is EFT Couples Therapy?

You don’t need me to tell you that relationships are a lot of work, but even if you commit to that effort, you’ll still encounter major challenges! However, what if I told you there’s a form of therapy that can help your relationship in a relatively short time period? This form of therapy is called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).

EFT was designed for couples to help create a more secure emotional bond with the people in your life. Allowing for a more secure connection that grows and thrives.

Keep reading to learn more about how EFT can benefit your relationship.

How EFT Couples Therapy Works

Since EFT is considered a short-term treatment, it’s rooted in the present. Couples are encouraged to identify and work on issues that are problematic. Your therapist will observe your interactions to better understand the dynamics between you and your partner. If honest communication can be fostered, new behaviors and interactions can then be found.

During your sessions, the EFT therapist will:

  • Prompt you both to discuss current concerns
  • Guide you to a place where you can discover emotions that were previously repressed
  • Help you recognize how past experiences are being blocked
  • Teach you new ways to express what you’re feeling without disconnecting from your partner
  • Support you as you improve your listening skills
  • Work with you to discern healthy ways to respond when emotionally challenged

EFT Techniques

Emotionally Focused Therapy is a system broken into these three stages (and nine steps). Here’s a basic rundown:

Stage One: De-escalation

To manifest positive patterns in your interactions, you must first identify what’s going on now. You and your partner learn to do this by focusing on recognizing the patterns that create disagreements and conflict in your relationship. This process helps you understand the role your own fears are playing in the problems.

The conflict is de-escalated as the couple shifts away from negative behaviors. In that space, it’s easier to:

  • Become more emotionally available to each other
  • Cultivate mutual empathy
  • Engage in a positive manner
  • Strengthen your bond

Stage Two: Restructuring

Building on stage one, each partner sets out to become more receptive and compassionate to the other’s needs. Two big parts of this effort involve learning to:

  • Share their emotions more openly and securely
  • Demonstrate acceptance of their partner’s individual wants and desires

Stage two requires the development of true vulnerability. In such a setting, underlying emotions can rise safely to the surface.

Stage Three: Consolidation

Here’s where all previous work gets put into action. The EFT therapist has couples practice their newfound communication and interaction skills. This will display to both partners how far they’ve come. It also shows that their new patterns actually do stop conflict in its tracks.

As the treatment wraps up, the couple now views their attachment as secure. They view the relationship as a safe haven where problems can be handled productively. Both of them can heal and evolve.

Meeting Your Emotionally Focused Therapist

You and your partner may feel you need something to deepen your bond. You realize that something feels off but you can’t quite put your finger on it. This is not unusual, and there is NO shame in seeking some guidance. Sometimes, you just need an outside perspective to see what’s happening.

Like any other form of therapy, EFT may appear mysterious at first. That’s why I invite you to reach out now. Let’s set up a free consultation. You can get some of your questions answered in this confidential connection and set up your first EFT couples session!

You may also like…

Do We Really Have to Talk About Sex in Couples Therapy?

Do We Really Have to Talk About Sex in Couples Therapy?

Short answer: Maybe. Longer answer: It’s not about “have to.” Couples therapy is an evolving process in which neither partner should feel obligated or coerced to surrender a boundary. That said, there are countless other factors to consider when attempting to answer...

How to Regain Trust After Emotional Infidelity

How to Regain Trust After Emotional Infidelity

Life throws many experiences at you. Infidelity just might deliver the most diverse and intense emotions of all. The combination includes betrayal, fear, anger, resentment, guilt, shame, and so much more. When sucked into this vortex of feelings, it can feel...

How Common is Infidelity and How to Address It?

How Common is Infidelity and How to Address It?

Relationships require a lot of work and compromise. Even then, problems will arise to threaten your bond. One of the biggest deal-breakers of all is infidelity. When one partner cheats on the other, it is a severe betrayal of trust. Discovering an affair is often the...